Track Name: we are only here briefly, and in this moment i want to allow myself joy
this year feels like the dash between two dates, and every milestone leads to another. i’ve been trying to make each moment worth remembering so this year actually means something to me. any inkling of joy that comes upon me is so obviously forced. none of this even matters, i’m gonna take the train up to boston. this time next year i’ll be unpacking boxes and making friends in my new home. all i want is to be happy where i am. all i want is to be happy, so i just will.
"you know how everyone's always saying seize the moment? i don't know, i'm kind of thinking it's the other way around. you know, like, the moment seizes us"
Track Name: a song for a friend
it kills me to watch you let him kill you, while you do the same to me. and for every time he’s fucked you over, somehow you still believe that there’s a place for you in his home, so you sit and talk to him on your phone while he makes plans he can’t follow up on cause he’s afraid to say no. just get me away from this boring city, make me disappear. you want to leave the state so badly. I want you to stay here, but you’re convinced that this is not your home, and i can only talk to you on my phone. not like it matters anyway, cause i’ll be leaving soon.
nothing makes sense anymore. i wish this was high school. at least back then we could follow our own rules. i should be forging a life for myself, but instead i’ll live vicariously through instagram, paying for gas with change i received in return to make the difference between my cash and a record, making friends online who call me drunk at night while i sit at home eating cereal all alone. nothing makes sense anymore. i wish this was high school. at least back then we could follow our own rules